I think about my life and things that I need to accomplish before i die. And i think of all the mistakes I've made and how I hate myself for making them. 6 months ago I would have said that whatever doesn't kill you always makes you stronger. But now I would like add the part no one tells you about. whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger if you learn to accept your mistakes and grow from them.

and thats not my case it never has been. I tend to just pretend what i did never happened. and that it wasn't me. because I'm ashamed of who I was and who I am now. 

I'm not the type of person that's going to be happy being alone I need companionship but I don't want to settle so when does not settling become being to picky? 

I always pick someone to like and fall in love with that is emotionally unattainable... what does that say about me? and how does that effect the relationships I have?